Black Men: Hold Down the Family House or Build a New One.

Black Men: Hold Down the Family House or Build a New One.

(ThyBlackMan.com) We’re taking a trip down memory lane, fellas. I hope your long term memory is still sharp—or at least decent enough to remember parts of your childhood. Growing up, was your street an old street? Were there a lot of elderly folks who knew your family? Growing up, the street I lived on had a number of seniors who knew my mother when she was a kid.

They also knew my grandmother and great grandmother, the librarians at our neighborhood library would talk about my mother and grandmother being heavy readers and regularly volunteering. You may have had a similar neighborhood or at least had old neighbors who looked out for the local kids when they were outside playing or there were strangers around.

However, they could also be nosy as hell and could tell you other people’s business. One thing was for certain: they were one of those constants. You probably passed their house every day to and from school, work, or the corner store.

Then You Grow Up

Now you’re a whole adult, a few decades into this life thing. You encounter new faces, spend time in new neighborhoods—hell, you’re traveling, even. Changes occur. Those old heads pass away and the issue of their house—none of our business, by the way—can go either way. Some houses that were inhabited your whole childhood might end up abandoned and fall in disarray. Maybe their kids come to take over the house.

What I’ve noticed over the 30 years I’ve lived in this neighborhood is that the houses often end up abandoned or new faces move in. Those families who were a fixture of your street don’t have a presence there anymore.

It’s not unusual for the younger generations to move away from home and build their own home. That presents its own problems down the line if an heir seeks to take over the house—unless they’re able to juggle multiple houses.

Never mind that older Black folks will hold a house the family owns even if the neighborhood becomes blighted. I’ve always felt that nowadays, it’s too dangerous for seniors to live alone in high crime, high drug trafficking areas. But I get why they don’t leave: too much was invested in the house over several decades: time, money, memories—there’s familiarity. If anything doesn’t work in a house, they know the workarounds until a repair can be made—if ever.

Black Men Hold On to Your Family Home

Now, I don’t mind seeing new faces on the block but I have a good long-term memory and I remember who used to stay in what houses on my street. I’d seen them every day for decades, went to school with some of their kids—now adults with kids, and chatted with them about the same thing in discussing here.

“You know so-so passed. What a sweet woman. Her kids ain’t sh**, they let the house go,” was a common sentiment from several neighbors over the years.

Kids don’t always come back. That’s especially true if they’re in a safer neighbor or have a place close to work or school. Hey, the house could be close to a hovel, even. It would actually be regressing for them. While discussing this with man of similar age who also grew up in this neighborhood, he came to the conclusion that Black men just don’t want to take care of an old house in the old neighborhood.

I felt it was specific and definitely off base. It was just a blanket “Black men can’t be bothered.” It’s more generational—in multiple ways. Older relatives squabbling over a house, a generation didn’t take care of the house and now it’s not worth having, the neighborhood probably went to sh**, or those younger folks in the family are settled elsewhere.

My brother and I handle the family house which has been in the family for 55 years. It’s seen four generations of my family from my great grandparents who purchased it to my niece and nephews. Too much has been invested in the house by three generations of adults making sure it’s the family house, Mama’s house.

Again, I understand that different generations might not want to stay in the place they grew up. My neighborhood’s changed a lot over 30 years and it’s a very mixed bag of change, folks.

So, Black men—and we shouldn’t be the only ones tasked with it, but another Black man’s take prompted this thought—if you’re one of those who lives in the family house: hold on to it. Keep it fixed up and instill the importance of Black people owning their own houses. If you own a house that wasn’t in the family originally: make that a new family house.

That doesn’t solely mean “Go have some kids, fam”. At most it’s a house you own that the family frequents. That creates an attachment, it’s a constant. At the minimum, you own a house and annual property tax beats monthly rent any time of the decade.

Staff Writer; James Swift, Jr.

Gaming since 1989 and headbanging since 1999, James enjoys comics, RPGs, wrestling, and all things old school and retro. Check out his writing here AfroGamers and The Black Rock and Heavy Metal. You can also find him on Twitter at; metalswift and soon on Kick where he will stream mobile titles.

One can also contact this brother at; JSwift@ThyBlackMan.com.